Our Reasonable Cast of Characters

From core characters to bit players, each of the people in the world of Reasonably Clever have a story to tell.

It's sad we'll hear so little from most of them.

The Good Guys

Whiskey Tango

One half of the duo that makes up this buddy picture. Whiskey Tango is a hard-drinking, hard-hitting loner who just happens to be best friends with a frog. He always has a plan. Probably not a good plan. But a plan.

He has a wide range of expression for a LEGO mini-figure.

Hop Scotch

A frog. Currently hunted by just about everyone in the Cola industry, Hop spends his days hanging out with Whiskey Tango.

Donut Feelgood

Owner of the Brick House, Donut is a master chef who keeps trying to win the national chili cook-off. Eventually kicked Whiskey and Scotch out of the Brick House.

Luka Feelgood

Luka lives on the second floor. She lives upstairs from you, I guess you might have seen her before. She'd be Whiskey's romantic interest if the two of them didn't hate each other's guts.

Zombie Wash

Not really the zombified corpse of Wash from the Firefly franchise, but rather a cosplayer who was really caught up in his role...and then became a zombie. He's agreed to be Whiskey's side kick in exchange for Whiskey not letting anyone kill him again.

Mary Sue

Pure fan service. She's smart, sexy, and good with tools. Works at NASA during the day, as dominatrix by night.

She's in love with Zombie Wash and helps out Whiskey whenever she can. Whiskey is attracted to her, but thus far has fought off falling for her charms.


The Not-So-Good and Undecided

Pat O'Buttah

He's naked, and makes lots of butter-related puns. Quite possibly the most hated character ever. He doesn't mind; he just loves the attention.

Currently in the employ of Brick Cola to bring in Scotch at any cost.

Colda, the Pineapple Man

A rare skin condition makes him look like a Pineapple. Refusing to play second fiddle to Whiskey, he left for parts unknown in strip 170.

The Brick Cola Company


Pepper (Perhaps she's earned her doctorate, perhaps not) is the CEO of Brick Cola. She likes vacationing in Aspen, World Domination, and the color blue.


Chet is the no-nonsense VP of Brick Cola. He has little bunnies painted on his knees, but he'd never let you know that.


Phil is the happy-go-lucky VP of Brick Cola. His cheery nature counterbalances Chet's gruffness.


Simon heads up the marketing side of Brick Cola. He likes to do drawings.

The Cola Brick Company


R.C. is the CEO of Cola Brick. He's not the best with directions, nor the smartest kid on the block, but he knows how to run a cola company bent on world domination. He also likes pie.

Cola Brick Frog-on-Ice

Trapped in the same sort of ice-globe that once held Scotch, this second frog is the source of Cola Brick's power over 1/2 of the Brickworld population.


Steve appears to be some sort of advisor to RC. He has a sinister voice, and tends to make the Cola Brick board members a bit nervous.


Practical and realistic, he refuses to underestimate the forces of Brick Cola. Heads up the advertising wing of Cola Brick.

Smilin' Stan

Doesn't like Clarence's wussy stance on Brick Cola. He fears nothing. NOTHING! Except for this recurring nightmare about Bea Arthur...


Another of the sensible Board Members. She's willing to question Steve - something the rest of the board is reluctant to do.


Another Board Member.

Mr. Mustache

Another Board Member

The Biker Guy

Board Member, or possibly just a Leather Daddy.

...and the Rest

These two Board Members have only been seen in small, out of focus shots. They remain a mystery.

The French

The French Chef

Scotch has made a few enemies, one of the first being the French Chef. He is determined to claim Scotch's arms and legs in return for an unpaid bar tab. And he'll kill Whiskey if he gets in the way again.


Pirate Ninjas


Leader of the Chapter of Pirate Ninjas hired by the Brick Cola company. He could have been a dentist, but that didn't work out.


Drives the Boat and acts as an advisor to Salty-Chan. Not that he ever really listens. She jokes about inappropriate topics.


Navigator, official "Go-Fer." Thinks Salty-Chan is a bit of a dork. He's a bit smarter than the rest of the crew.




Snarky and sassy co-pilot. Likes to exploit union rules to his advantage




Almost has a full set of collector glasses from "Pirate Pete's Pub And Grub". Allergic to Ninja-Cowls, he wears a swanky hat. Thus he doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the crew.




Look-Out! It's Mike, the Look-Out!



The Admiral

Head of the Pirate-Ninja Union. Fan of the Dukes of Hazard. Missing a leg and a hand, he's a grumpy man.



Barnacled Betty

Drives the Admiral around in the staff car. Likes to make her warning shots count. May or may not have a fishy odor about her.


Ninja Pirates

Red Leader

Leader of this group of Ninja Pirates. Her sister, Fortune Cookie, is the Ninja Pirate's Oracle.

"Zortched" by Scotch, she is either very unconscious or possibly dead.


Missing a leg and a hand, he's a grumpy man. Refuses to stay dead, even after being "Zortched". Was "Twhocked" by Al, but that probably didn't bother him at all.


He'd like to introduce you to his friend, Mr. Oar. Last seen lying on the ground after being "Thwocked" by Al.


Possibly the fraternal twin of Red Leader. Was "Zortched",so may or may not be dead at this time.


His weapon of choice is the Ship's Wheel from a boat thrown like a giant ninja-star. He hides a terrible secret. Currently very dead.

Bit Players

The Wacky Neighbor

Possibly a prostitute. Lives next door to the Feelgoods. Drinks Cola Brick brand cola.

Mr. Short

He was killed in the third episode for being so damn short.

Zombie Spider-Man

A Marvel Zombies Cross-over, or just a guy on his way to a costume party who just happened to end up a zombie? Who can tell?

(Appeared Episode 172, beheaded in 173)


The Milkman

Ian Healey, writer/producer of the Adventures of the S-Team wrote the story of what happened with Whiskey and Scotch while they were on hiatus. It was only fair that I return the compliment and steal some of Ian's characters for use in Reasonably Clever.

The Milkman is the wise-cracking, sword weilding star of Ian's book The Milkman. Go buy a copy.


The Milkman's saucy girlfriend. In a strange bit of reality-meshing, she wears the same outfit as (and strongly resembles) the Wacky Neighbor. Maybe they just shop at the same stores.


The Milkman's alien side-kick.


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