Episode 641

Read the comic here.

Yes, I've addressed the topic of temporal cross-contamination in the blog before, but I figured it needed in-strip coverage as well.

Friday Fail: 4-Wheel Skateboard

Every Friday at noon I showcase a real failure of a toy. And by "Failure" I mean "a cheap, crappy knockoff toy that should be destroyed before it infects humanity with some sort of degenerative disease".

But first: A reminder of some basic info. These posts are meant to showcase FAILURE, not to act as a catalog. I'm not selling these bootlegs, nor should you go out and look for them on your own. These are posts about what to AVOID buying. Go spend your money on real LEGO parts. You'll be glad you did.

--

Today we continue with the Zephyr Knight series of impulse-set sized LEGO knock-offs. Previously we've looked at sets No. 1001 Mining Car and No. 1002 - 3 Wheel Motorcycle. The assortment promo images on the packaging says that 1003 is a hang glider - sadly (Maybe that should be "Luckily") I don't have that set to review. So we'll have to skip ahead to set No. 1004 - 4 Wheel Skateboard.

Looking at the package front (above), it's clear that Zephyr Knight is up to their usual tricks of duplicating licensed LEGO products. The image comes directly from the box art for set 6738 - Skateboard Challenge....or does it?

Strangely, the mini-figures shown in the photo have been swapped out with new characters. What's odd is that they duplicated the pose of the central figure from the original LEGO art. We already know there's no chance that the toys inside the Bootleg Box are going to look anything like the packaging...so why go to all that effort? It's not as if they've replaced the figure with a non-LEGO toy. They've just doubled the number of copyright infringements.

Silly bootleggers.

The back of the package reminds us that this set is part of the "Series Transformation" line. Like set 1002, though, there's not a lot of transformation to be had when there's no building to be done. Instead, we get the suggestion that the male Skateboarder figure will somehow change clothes (and appearance) mid-stunt while the green-clad female prods him with a stick.

Sounds kinky.

The side of the box gives us a new image - the two skateboarders continuing to hit each other with a stick.

By this side they seem to have lost their stick, however. How tragic.

The box top shows more sets in the Series Transformation line. We'll get to Photo Graph Car soon enough.

The bottom of the box has the same child safety warnings we've seen on the other Zephyr Knight products. Yawn.

But now for a bit of excitement - the package is vague as to what is actually contained within. Three figures? Two? A ramp? No ramp? A dead cat? There's really no telling.

I'm tempted to leave this paticular Schrödinger's box closed, but you guys have come for a bootleg toy review, so I must press on.

Oh, look. A baggie of parts ad a wadded up instruction sheet. How novel. I certainly wasn't expecting that. Oh wait. Yes I was.

Looking at the parts we quickly solve the mystery. There's just enough here to put together a couple of mini-figures and a pair of skateboards. And there's a stick they can beat each other with.

I really don't know if the instruction sheet was even needed this time around. The LEGO brand "Pepper" mini-figure shown certainly isn't included - heck, even the stick is a different from part than the one included.

I guess the bootleggers felt that if you were stupid enough to buy their product you might have trouble figuring out where the skateboard's wheels were supposed to go.

Speaking of the boards, here they are in their fully assembled glory. Note the stickers - they're copies of LEGO artwork. (Note the Island Xtreme Sports logo on the one on the left.)

And here are the two mini-figures. Let's call them Thing1 and Thing2.

Thing2 is apparently an albino. His face decorations are non-LEGO, but are clearly based off of the standard LEGO-grin - with some poorly drawn eyebrows thrown in for flavor. His torso art is also of Non-LEGO origin.

Thing1 also has a custom torso - although we've seen the same design before. (The 3 Wheel Motorcycle driver had the same part.)

Thing1's face is also new...and very, very goofy. Here, let's take a closer look:

"I call this my O-Face"

And here's the fully assembled set. If you weren't regretting your Bootleg Toy purchase before, you're certainly weeping bitter tears now.

Here's an action shot using the Stick-o-lameness accessory.

In the LEGO-world the control stick is much longer - and meant to be used by the child playing with the set. But we know from the instructions and box art that this particular Bootleg Accessory is meant to dominate a skater - to make him do the foul bidding of the other mini-figure.

It's a sick, twisted world from which few escape. So don't fall in yourself.

You've been warned.

----======-----
As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.

Episode 640

Read the comic here.

I've decided to upload new comics on Saturday and Sunday as well this week, to catch back up. So tune in tomorrow for more!

Handtruck Challenge: Entry Grid Update

The Handtruck Building Challenge '09 scores another batch of great entries. Go take a look at the Entry Grid!

Remember, you have until 3-13 to get your entries submitted, but act now before all the cool ideas are gone!

Episode 639

Read the comic here.

Wash has always been slow to rile, but having his kids go missing is sure to be enough to bring out his destructive side.

Comics Delay

Okay gang, my day job has really been kicking my butt. As a result, I'm way behind on the comic-creation schedule. No comic today, probably not tomorrow either.

Once I'm back on track I'll publish 7 days a week until I'm caught back up. I'm not expecting to lose more than two or three days - but I've got to get out from under this.

-Chris

Handtruck Challenge: Entry Grid Updated

The Handtruck Building Challenge '09 continues apace - This weekend's submissions are now a part of the Entry Grid.

There are some really clever ideas showing up - I'm quite impressed with what you guys have managed so far!

Just a reminder, though, that entries need to have at least some MOC element to them. Setting up a display of LEGO-stock models and adding a handcart to the scene doesn't qualify. At the very least customize a mini-figure or (better yet) BUILD SOMETHING.

Episode 638

Read the comic here.

I think it'd be pretty tough to play a future version of yourself at Poker. I mean...you'd know if you were bluffing.

Friday Fail: Mining Car

Every Friday at noon I showcase a real failure of a toy. And by "Failure" I mean "a cheap, crappy knockoff toy that should be destroyed before it infects humanity with some sort of degenerative disease".

But first: A reminder of some basic info. These posts are meant to showcase FAILURE, not to act as a catalog. I'm not selling these bootlegs, nor should you go out and look for them on your own. These are posts about what to AVOID buying. Go spend your money on real LEGO parts. You'll be glad you did.

--

Zephyr Knight put out a full line of impulse-set sized LEGO knock-offs. They were even brazen enough to number the sets to create a bootleg assortment. I've already covered one of them - set No. 1002 - 3 Wheel Motorcycle. Today we take a step backward to the first of the "Series Transformation" set - No. 1001 - Mining Car. Or maybe "Car Mining". I'm not sure. Here - take a look at the logo and decide for yourself.

The gears and floating mini-figure head really add a touch of class, don't they? Well, maybe if they hadn't picked a face with such a goofy expression on it...

Here's the full front of the box. Note the logo in the upper left - apparently it's a restricted trade mark! I wonder if they filled out paperwork somewhere. I'm sure LEGO corporate would love to have their mailing address...

The toy shown is a mix of a couple of LEGO products. The vehicle is from 2002's Alpha Team: Mission Deep Sea set 1427 - Ogel Marine Slizer (shown below in a pic lifted from Bricklink.)

The Mining Car's wheels are new, lifted from a Racer set most likely. The figure shown is a helmeted version of the Brickster Henchman #2 from the Island Xtreme Stunts line.

What sort of drugs do you have to be on to create a mix like this? I mean, really - if you're putting together a set to try and sell to unsuspecting children...why choose these parts? Maybe I'm putting too much thought into it. They probably just wandered over to where LEGO toys were being produced, stole what molds and parts they could, then just drew random bits out of a bag until they had thirty of them or so.

The back of the box identifies this set as the first in the "Series Transformation" line. Three wacky assembly options are shown floating above an out-of-focus martian landscape.

Yes, you to can make a...um....submarine....a portable fan....and a....I dunno...giant chainsaw?

The sides of the box showcase the versatility of the various builds - here the Mining Car is converted to mobile fan mode, yet still shoved under water as evidenced by the bubbles. Makes perfect sense to me.

And here's "giant chainsaw" in the desert. Is the mini figure chasing the toy, or is he being backed into a corner by an aggressive robotic bootleg? I like to think the later - and that Mr. Bootleg is mere moments from a messy end.

The top of the box has product shots from some of the other sets in the Series Transformation, along with a "Not Suitable for Children Under 6 Years" warning.

Speaking of warnings, the bottom of the box continues the "gear" motif along with a bunch of international cautions. Not the change from the "not for under 6" on the rest of the box to the "Not for under 3" on this panel.

Opening the box we find the usual mix...

The Zephyr instruction sheets are printed on a heavier paper stock compared to the BRICK line. This higher quality paper leads to a strange downturn in product quality - apparently the instructions are hand-folded - and whoever got stuck with that crap job did...a crappy job.

Speaking of instructions, here they are. Note the use of the original LEGO Ogel mini-figure rather than the henchman shown on the box.

The box doesn't offer a part count, so I can't complain about that aspect for a change. The parts have the usual mix of "HOLI" and "YIHE" stamps on them. The wheels are the standard bootleg hard-plastic recast of the two part LEGO tire and hub. The color choices again suggest a blind monkey was in charge of quality control.

The mini-fig head design is the same partial-LEGO match that we last saw in the 3-Wheel Motorcycles set, only this time in a albino-white version. The torso decoration is new to me - and shockingly printed in two colors! Of course, this figure looks nothing like Ogel OR the box-Henchman. In fact, he sort of looks like John Oates from the '80 band Hall and Oates.

See what I mean?

The assembled toy shows off the usual color deviations from the packaging - and reveals a shocking extra part not used in the instructions. I later added the plate as an extra spacer between the wheels and the yellow handles - it allowed the toy to roll a little easier.

Then I crammed everything back into the box and tried to forget I ever had to deal with this garbage.

Bet I still have nightmares, though.

---======-----
As always, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.

Episode 637

Read the comic here.

Handtruck Challenge: Entry Grid Updated

The Handtruck Building Challenge '09 continues apace - I received another bath of entries last night, so I've updated the Entry Grid.

Today's update shows why you might not want to wait until the last moment to unveil your clever idea - Entries 6 and 7 arrived within an hour of each other, with decidedly similar themes! I wonder who else is in the midst of a build on a "handtruck race" theme...

Episode 636

Read the comic here.

Yes, that's another handtruck build for the prisoner cart. The One-Ringer is just overflowing with handtrucks.

Handtruck Challenge: Entry Grid Updated

We've received a few entries to kick off the Handtruck Building Challenge '09...reason enough to set up the Entry Grid.

So far it's a tie for "most handtrucks used" at a staggering "one." I know you guys can do better than that - heck, I managed three in my One-Ringer hanger bay set.

On the "Most Creative" and "Most Nifty" fronts there's a bit more of a challenge brewing...for example, check out this great Deckchair by David Pickett!

So what are you waiting for? Time to put your handtrucks to good use! Go build something!

Episode 635

Read the comic here.

No real photo trickery in today's strip. The "flying" effect was created by holding the shuttle in my hand above the sets. Careful cropping gives a convincing "in flight" look to things.

Doesn't L'il Whiskey look happy in panel 4? Oh, if only he knew what was in store...

Episode 634

Read the comic here.

Ah, reasoned exchanges and clever dialog. It's why you return to read Brick House day after day.

For those who are wondering:
Yes, Mary Beth is in the other Pod. She becomes an actual participant in the strip tomorrow.

And, Yes, L'il Whiskey and Mary Beth should have known better than to go with a stranger, particularly one with a spaceship. But they're still kids, and kids still make dangerous mistakes from time to time.

Episode 633

Read the comic here.

Yes, that's Mary Beth on the left.

Episode 632

Read the comic here.

Sorry for the delay. Monday's strip will be up this afternoon.

Yes, that's another new (huge!) set and a brand new shuttle craft. For those of you who would like a better view of them, I've put up a page with a few larger views here.

Friday Fail: City Ancgl

Every Friday at noon I showcase a real failure of a toy. And by "Failure" I mean "a cheap, crappy knockoff toy that should be destroyed before it infects humanity with some sort of degenerative disease".

But first: A reminder of some basic info. These posts are meant to showcase FAILURE, not to act as a catalog. I'm not selling these bootlegs, nor should you go out and look for them on your own. These are posts about what to AVOID buying. Go spend your money on real LEGO parts. You'll be glad you did.

--

The bootleg brand BRICK returns today with another impulse-sized set in their "Super Bricks Series". The set name is City Ancgl - and, no, I don't know what word they were trying for.

The front of the package (above) has the BRICK logo - a thematic copy of the LEGO brand. It also has a part count (20 pcs) and a suggested age (6+). The toy shown is a small truck-like vehicle and...um...a random collection of bricks including a shield, smokestack, and tool rack.

The background of the image has a blurred cityscape. From the motion lines on the truck you'd think it was moving along at a decent clip - with the strange brick assortment flying along side. Really weird.

The rear of the package trades the BRICK logo and other text for the following:

Vivid Andgreat in Style
Handsome Appearance

The "Andgreat" typo and general wording are identical to other packages in the BRICK line.
The background once again suggests that the truck and parts-rack are moving at horrific speed. Or maybe the buildings are retreating - since the ground the toys are sitting on seems to be stationary.

The side of the box shows the truck and parts rack at rest in front of some teeny tiny houses. The standard BRICK legend of

chariots without rival
many colr a lot.
selected freely by you

appears - with the BRICK standard "colr" misspelling.

Box side #2 has the more of the same text and graphics seen already.

Side #3 has more BRICK-standard goofy text:

Most New Catena
Completely new to Come in to the market
More new items available

Finally, the bottom of the box has a safety warning. Nothing much to say here, so let's move on to the contents of the box.

Inside we find the same mix we've come to expect from BRICK - a poly bag of parts and a cheaply-printed instruction sheet.

The box claims twenty pieces - and the contents of the poly-bag match up. Of course, the colors don't match the pictures on the box. At least they warned us about that on the box bottom.

The bricks have some interesting markings on them. Most have the "HOLI" imprint seen in the other BRICK knock-offs. But a few are marked "YIHE". Maybe if you find all the different markings it spells out a secret phrase.

This set, shockingly, has several parts not lifted directly from LEGO molds. The front window for the truck is non-LEGO, the tires are a recast amalgam, and the rod (in yellow, above) is just a bit shorter than its LEGO counterpart (in white).

The instructions deserve a closer look. Be sure to notice that they don't follow any sort of logic at all - the first three steps in particular are intermingled and senseless. Combine that with a lack of color-matches, and you have an annoyingly complex build for a 20 piece kit.

And here you have the completed model. Even in context, the parts rack makes no sense.

Oh, who am I kidding? The whole CITY ANCGL kit makes no sense.

Oh well. At least I never have to review this set again.

----======-----
Once again, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.

Comic up a bit lare

Today's strip will be up later tonight. Production problems.

Handtruck Building Challenge '09

While the final details are being worked out for our next BIG contest, here's a little challenge to keep your building skills warmed up...

Click the pic for more details!

Episode 631

Read the comic here.

For those wondering, yes, Darth Croissant is voiced by James Earl Jones.

Episode 630

Read the comic here.

Cheap payoff is cheap. Back to the plot tomorrow. Maybe.

Episode 629

Read the comic here.

Episode 628

Read the comic here.

"Minimalist Monday" - also known as "Chris Forgot to Put a Strip Together For Monday Before Leaving For SuperCon and Had To Make Due With What He Had With Him"

Friday Fail: 3 Wheel Motorcycles

Every Friday at noon I showcase a real failure of a toy. And by "Failure" I mean "a cheap, crappy knockoff toy that should be destroyed before it infects humanity with some sort of degenerative disease".

But first: A reminder of some basic info. These posts are meant to showcase FAILURE, not to act as a catalog. I'm not selling these bootlegs, nor should you go out and look for them on your own. These are posts about what to AVOID buying. Go spend your money on real LEGO parts. You'll be glad you did.

--

Continuing our run of Impulse-set sized knock offs, today we uncover another bootleg brand. Criminals to the core, these guys advocate carjacking - right on the package.

This knock-off has packaging that looks quite a bit like a legitimate LEGO brand offering. The set is titled "3 Wheel Motorcycles". The box is printed in full color on all six sides, has a stock number (1002) and child safety warnings. No part count this time, though. The item pictured is pure LEGO-goodness - the Director from the Movie theme wears a helmet from the Racers line, and sits atop a red three-wheeler. The background is a blurred cityscape of unknown origin.

The company logo is proudly displayed - whoever the heck "Zephyr Knight" is.

The humor really starts with the back of the box. The title of "SERIES Transformation" would suggest the interchangeability of LEGO products - but there's not a lot of Transformation you can do with the parts that make up the 3-Wheeler.

No, instead Zephyr suggests a very sad play scenario. The addition of a pistol to the mix allows two mini-figures to endlessly carjack each other - each taking the 3-wheeler and helmet for an illegal spin - before being forced off at gunpoint so the other guy can take a turn. I can come up with no other explanation for the clear storyline shown by the arrows, anyway.

One side of the package shows the gun-toting director speeding away from the city.

The other side shows the cameraman (also from the LEGO Movie theme) claiming the 3-Wheeler after disposing of the Director's body off-screen.

The top of the box shows three other sets in the Zephyr Knight series - we'll be reviewing all of these in the coming weeks.

The bottom of the box has some fairly standard child-safety warnings. Note the change from "For ages 6 and up" to "not for children under 3".

Inside the package is the usual mix - and instruction sheet and poly-bag of parts.

The parts, of course, bear faint resemblance to the packaging. The red 3-wheeler is now orange, the printed helmet and gun now lemon-yellow confections, and the mini-figure a mix of poorly painted and strangely hued brittle plastic.

The instructions (above) are printed on heavy glossy-stock paper, and show yet a third mini-figure - the Stuntman from the Movie theme.

Assembly went okay except for the front tire. The back two wheels were each cast as a single piece, but the front tire needed the yellow hub to be inserted into the hard plastic tire. Had the tire been soft plastic, or, say, rubber, it would have worked. As it was, I ended up snapping off one of the connection pins while trying to force the parts together. Yet another example of the CRAP that is a bootleg toy.

Here's a shot (courtesy of Bricklink) of the LEGO face that was almost copied for this toy.Why "almost"? Well, take a look...

Here's a final shot of the 3 Wheel and driver. I don't think I need to go into any more detail about how sucky this knock-off is...but, if you're still not convinced that you need to pass this fellow by- look at those powder blue legs. That should put you over the top.

I mean, really, who would want to pay money for this? Maybe Zephyr had it right on the package - the only folks desperate enough to own one are idiotic criminals.

----======-----
Once again, many thanks to Joe from The Undiscovered Playthings for sending me this set to review.

Anon comments disabled

Thanks to continued crap from Anon posters, I've had to turn that option off. You now need to have some sort of ID post.

Sorry, but this is why we can't have nice things.

Episode 627

Read the comic here.

On the road today, so this strip will be free-floating until I get to the hotel (and their internet access) tonight. Aren't you blog readers lucky to see it early?

(Don't worry, Friday Fail is already in the queue and will auto-publish at noon as usual.)

New contest under development!

For those of you chomping at the bit to get building on a new Reasonably Clever contest:

This weekend I'll be finalizing details of our next outing, with a hope to announce things late next week.

For those of you desperate for a hint, here you go.

Episode 626

Read the comic here.

For those of you asking yesterday: You're just going to have to wait until February 25th to find out what happens in strip 640. No, it isn't an easter egg. I haven't even photographed the episode yet.

Long time readers will recognize the new character in today's strip from a teaser image I posted months ago. It took me that long to figure out who he was, and how he'd fit into the storyline.

Speaking of today's strip - the joke is an old one, but still a goodie.

Episode 625

Read the comic here.

Mother Tango comes off sounding like Doctor Manhattan in this strip. Couldn't be helped; it's just a risk you have to take when writing time travel stories.

Episode 624

Read the comic here.

For those of you who are wondering about it, let me explain the version of time travel rules that I'm using for the Brick House. It's mostly the model that DC comics uses, with a few tweaks.

Mainly:
If you travel to the past you can't change anything. You can try, but you'll always fail for some reason.

If you DO manage to change the past, well, then you've created a new alternate timeline that splits off from that point. So you still don't really get to change anything. (Or you traveled back to an alternate universe to start with.)

You can co-exist with a past self with no ill effects due to the above. (Note that the characters aren't sure about that right now, so they'll continue to try and avoid touching themselves. As is good and proper for a mostly PG comic.)

Advent Madness: VS - Trophy Time!

Advent Madness Awards Ceremony

Yesterday, my wife and I watched the Superbowl at Player A's home. This gave me a chance to finally deliver the Advent VS trophy to her daughter, Player B.

Photos after the jump.

Here's Player B with her Major Award

And a detail shot of the trophy.

It's a long wait until the next round of Advent Goodness - I may have to revisit the "VS" theme before then. This was just too much fun to let die off...

Episode 623

Read the comic here.

What would you do if you were suddenly confronted with your future self?